Crimson Fears
by Severed Glass
Summary: This is my purgitory, I've made my own hell, yet forgiveness may be beyond my grasp." She trapped herself in sorrow and and repentance, but can he help set her free when he can't help himself?
1. prologue chapter one

Okay, guys, I got inspired by some of the gundam wing/sailor moon crossovers (which I didn't think were dark/morbid/angst-y enough)I've read to start my own (yes, again, wasn't happy with the first, now I have a new idea!)

Just for the record, I will be using all sailor moon's UNDUBBED names, so if you are unaware of any of them, here's a list (since I know many of you are dubbies . . . I don't mean that in a mean way though . . . heh heh):

Undubbed (which I will be using) - dubbed (engilsh version) - sailor name

Usagi - Serena - Sailor Moon (Queen Serenity)

Ami - Amy - Sailor Mercury

Rei - Rey - Sailor Mars

Makato - Lita - Sailor Jupiter

Mina - Mina – Sailor Venus

Setsuna - Trista - Sailor Pluto

Michuru - Michelle - Sailor Neptune

Haruka - Amara - Sailor Uranus

Hotaru - Hotaru - Sailor Saturn This is the only senshi, to my knowledge that doesn't have a dubbed name, also, this is who the story will revolve around, so not hard to remember, eh:D

Chibi-Usa - Rina - Sailor Chibi (Mini) Moon

Mamouru - Darien - Tuxedo Karmen (Mask)

There you go, now happy reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own either gundam wing or sailor moon, if I did, I'd be a lot richer . . .

**Crimson Fears**

_Prologue-_

Crimson laced my torn gloves, forever staining the purest white, running down my front, my back, my legs, and even my face. It tried to consume me in the fears, the screams, and the tears that were alive in the crimson, and I didn't fight it. I allowed them to come, taking knowledge of every last fear, every last scream, every last thought, and every last tear of the thousands of souls' blood in which I bathed. Exposed cuts and gashes were allowing the crimson to intertwine with my own, making their fears, their screams, and their tears, my own. This was my penance, and it did not end here, there was so much more to do to apologize for my sins, but would my begging grant me pardon from the gods? Would it grant me pardon from myself?

Tainted tears laced my eyes, not worthy to be those clear and pure of any other human, however, after my crimes against humanity, would I be considered human? Have I lost that privilege? Silent whispers escaped my lips; I pleaded and begged for forgiveness, but it wasn't enough, I couldn't just be forgiven. Forgiveness came at a price, one I would continue to pay throughout my lifetime.

I raised my head to view the goddess standing before me. My lips moved, yet no sound was made. I was in my hell of silence; only the screams of the dead could be heard here. She didn't need to hear what I tried to speak of, she already knew. She knew what would happen, yet held no power to stop determined fate. She simply nodded, no smile, yet no frown, her face expressionless except one tear trailing her cheek.

**Chapter One**

Rain fell from the heavens in a blind rage, wailing, billowing, displaying both its force and power. My clothes were soaked through, hair matted down, and grime scattered over my body for lack of a shower. My feet lifted and hit the ground in a rhythmic motion, never going faster, never slower, and never ceasing. I couldn't recall the last time I slept within days, but it didn't matter. I didn't deserve rest, I was unworthy of such privileges. My sins had yet to be accounted for. My eyes stared at the concrete below my feet, viewing cracks and weeds as though counting them, yet I paid attention to only what ran through my head: The last thoughts of my victims.

_Why now?_

_Was it wishful thinking?_

_Is this really it?_

_Why has no one ever loved me?_

I couldn't answer their questions, I didn't expect to, since they were questions of my own. My memories mixing with those of the dead, might I be with them? No better than the dead only to be walking through their thoughts. Death was what I deserved, yet too simple, I deserved more pain, as much as one person can bare before falling off the end. To walk that barrier has always been my job, my duty, and one I hold alone. I wished to rid myself of it, to loose all memories of past horrors. It could have been done, I could have been sent away, no recollection with the ability to start a new. Yet if I didn't hold onto my duty, it would be passed to some one else, no one else needs to hold such a burden. To loose my memories of past horrors would be too simple; it wouldn't cause enough pain. I deserved pain, torture, and eventually, hell.

I bumped into a man, whom I didn't even look up to meet eyes with or to apologize to; I only proceeded on my way. As I entered the alleyway, I heard the footsteps behind me, I heard his low breathing and his chuckle as I imagined a smile come across his face. I would have walked faster, had the alley not been a dead end. I didn't turn to meet him, instead I stood still. I was shaking, from both cold and sorrow, but not from fear. This man did not worry me, and if anything happened, I deserved it.

"I have no money." My voice started off loud and strong, but eventually faded into a whimper. "You have no reason to follow me, please, just let me be . . . please."

I could hear him chuckle as he came closer to me, he put his hand on his shoulder. His touch was warm against my skin of ice, the sudden touch sending a shiver down my spine. I wanted to slap his hand away and hurtle him across the alley, I had the power to do so, but instead bit my lip to hold myself back. I would no longer hurt anyone in any way, no matter the cost.

I could feel his breath upon my ear as he moved my hair from my face to whisper to me, "Just what are you doing out here, little girl?" He licked my ear lope. A gasp escaped my lips and I shrank away from his touch. I turned around to face him, my eyes pleading him to just leave me alone, to let me continue my journey through this empty, meaningless life as penance. He grabbed for me again and I dodged.

"Please, please, just let me be . . . please . . ." I whimpered as I stared into the hungry eyes of my predator, backing away.

"What will you do?" He laughed, grinning broadly. "Try to kill me?"

I had reached the end of the alley. I shrunk against the corner, lowering myself to the ground, knees to my chest and hands over my ears. "No . . ." I whispered. "No . . . No more killing. I won't kill anymore. I won't hurt anyone." I shook my head wildly, feeling the tears roll down my face, but I didn't bother to wipe them away, I was too scared to move. If I moved, the man could be dead the next second.

Rain continued to pour around us as he walked forward, "That's right, you won't hurt me. Now just calm down." He dropped next to me and reached out for my shoulder.

"NO!" I screamed, my dried mouth making my words come out uneven and cracking. "Don't touch me! Please . . . don't touch me!"

"Calm down." He instructed. "It won't hurt a bit, I promise." As he reached out again I yelled once more.

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" Tears streamed down my face in floods. Did he not understand? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? "Touch me and you'll die! Please . . . Don't die! . . . please . . ."

"You can't hurt me." His hand was now on my cheek and lowering.

"NO!" I squirmed away from him, but he continued to touch me. Why couldn't he just let me go? His hand must be burning from touching Hell's Queen. "You'll die! Don't die! Just let me go, please . . . please!"

His hand was now caressing my chest and a smile was on his face. He came closer and my eyes widened in fear. I did the only thing I could without hurting the man, I screamed. "NO! Don't die! Don't die! Just leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

A sound whistled through the air with the force of a hurricane that exploded right above our heads, contacting the hard concrete and leaving a dent. The man looked up with fear in his eyes. They connected with that of an Asian man's. His stare was fierce and unwavering. He stood braced for an attack and held his gun out prepared to shoot again.

"Get off the woman." His voice was cold an emotionless. When the man didn't move, he repeated himself, a growl in the back of his throat while he clicked his gun. "Get off the woman."

Another shot rang through the air. "I won't ask again." The man thrust himself off the ground and darted out the alley, his legs flopping all over the place and his arms swinging like a mad man.

The Asian snorted and put his gun into his belt. He came to me, his hand reaching out to me in the rain. I shivered and melted away from his hand, watching the rain drops land and splash off of his tan skin in awe of the beauty. But he reached closer and I slid against the wall, almost as though I wished for it to consume me.

I curled up into a ball with my knees to my chest and hands over my ears. I rocked back and forth with tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't hurt my savior. It would be best if he just went away. Maybe if I didn't acknowledge him, he would just turn and leave. However he reached closer.

"Weak onna." He grunted his eyes looking down on me, sending a chill through my spine. "Grab my hand, I'll help you up."

I shook my head. I didn't want to touch him. I couldn't hurt my savior. But instead of him leaving me alone, he reached for my wrist that hovered over my ear.

"Get up." He grunted.

Fear flooded through me. He was going to die. He touched me, he touched Satan's spawn. I couldn't let that happen, he deserved to live, he helped the undeserving. I screamed at him, he had to let me go. "Let me go! You'll die! Don't die! Let go! Don't die!"

"Stupid onna! I won't die!" He growled.

"I'll kill you if I touch you! Please, just let me go! I don't want to kill you . . . I don't want you to die. Please . . . please . . . don't die." My voice turned to a whisper and he looked at me in confusion. I screamed one last time at him, filling my lungs, I screamed, "Don't die! Don't-"

Before I could finish, he closed in on me. He wrapped me within his grasp, comforting me with strong arms and I found myself resting my head on his chest. I tried to wriggle free, but he was much stronger than me. I felt his chest rumble as he muttered something that sounded like, "Damn onna, calm down, I won't die."

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. Instead, I cried. I don't know how long, but it seemed like an eternity that this stranger comforted me for. Exhaustion swept over me and I only noticed one thing before black filled my vision.

It stopped raining.

Hope you liked it! Please review, tell me what you think and what could be improved. Thanks!

Stained Glass


	2. chapter two

Allo, I'm thanks everyone for the reviews! I love you all! You reviewers are the only reason this chapter is coming out so soon! Now onward for chapter 2!

Oh, and Nyneve, I looked over what I wrote (I don't proof or anything before I post a fic . . . I'm lazy) and you're right, he was a bit exaggerated. I hope to fix that, so thanks for pointing it out!

Disclaimer: I own nothing . . . nothing at all . . . it's all my parents' . . .

**Crimson Fears **

**Chapter Two**

Warmth engulfed me, a feeling long forgotten that now tried to smother my iced skin, a feeling I welcomed. I curled up, trying to encompass the warmth around me, not wanting any to ever leave me. I didn't like the cold, yet it was all I felt while wondering unknown streets. I hated the cold, the weather matching the ice inside of me. I despised the cold, yet it was what I deserved.

With this thought, my eyes shot open and I sat up. I had been on a bed, I realized, sleeping. How I had gotten there was beyond me, this uncertainty filled me with fear. I remembered the boy who had saved me, but nothing beyond that. I pulled my knees to my chest and shivered in fear.

I noticed a tube attached to my arm and pulled the needle out, not knowing what it was for, and not caring. The sheets which had kept me warm were wrapped around me, I stared at them for a while, my eyes open wide and tears threatening to fall. I grabbed a fistful of the white sheets and flung them away from me as though they were Satan himself. They weren't for me, I didn't deserve them. Tears began to run from my eyes as I looked down to notice that I was on a white bed. It was too soft, it wasn't for me, I didn't deserve it. I rolled off the side of the bed and landed with a thud against the cold tile. I hit my head hard enough on the white tile that black clouded my vision for a minute before I blinked it away. I inched across the floor, my legs feeling like weights at the bottom of the ocean as I dragged them along, unable to move them for reasons I didn't understand, once again sending fear throughout me.

It was a small room, but it seemed to stretch forever as I pulled my own dead weight around the buzzing machines that were scattered throughout the room. As I reached my arm out to pull myself along once more, I noticed the sleeves of the shirt I wore, quickly realizing they weren't my old clothes, they were neat, warm, and clean. They weren't the torn, wet, and dirty clothes I once wore, or the ones I deserved. I grabbed the sleeve and tried to tear it away from my body, I pulled and bit at the sleeve to try and get it away from me; it was too good for me. I don't know how long I tried, but finally the sleeve tore at my teeth, I grabbed it and with all my strength, I pulled it completely off. I looked at the second, but I couldn't begin to tear it, tears flooded from my eyes and I dropped my head into my arms, sobbing into a sleeve I didn't deserve.

I looked up through my tears to see a window. Rain poured outside and lightning flashed. I deserved to be out there, not in this warm room. I had to make it out of this luxury. This was my hell, yet someone was trying to stop me from fulfilling my penance. I inched toward the window, I had to be released from this comforting prison.

My legs still felt like lead as I dragged them along to the window, the sound of rain and wind pounding against the glass. After what seemed to be an eternity of struggle, the window was right above me, I reached up and grabbed it with my sleeveless arm, followed by the second as I slowly hoisted myself off of the cold tile. I first rose to my knees, using the window pane for support. I was shaking, in fear or from the force I had to put out to simply lift my body off the tile, I didn't know.

Tears poured with the rain as I bit my lip, from where I felt a small trail of blood trickle down my chin. I let out a whimper and I raised myself to my feet, knees shaking under the weight while leaning against the window as a lifeline. I panted as the window cooled my forehead.

I reached to open the window, but as I did, I realized there was a lock on it. I fiddled with it in my shaking fingers and tried to open it, but it was futile. I couldn't open the lock; I couldn't open the window. I was trapped in this comforting prison.

Tears came in floods and I coughed as I gasped for breath through sobs. My fist raised and before I knew what I was doing, my fist pounded against the unyielding glass. I wanted to break the glass, to shatter it and vanish into the rain outside. Pain flooded through my fist as I pounded again and again. I cried and in anger at myself and how helpless I was as I stopped leaning on the window to stand on my shaking legs to ram my entire body weight into the window. I tried, but was only thrown back by the force of my own attack. I landed on the hard tile and hit my head, letting out a small scream.

I hoisted myself up once more, determined to make it to the outside world. By the time I was on my feet for the second time, I couldn't breathe or see straight, yet I rammed myself into the window, flailing my fists against the glass.

Strong hands had grabbed me from behind, I didn't know who it was, and I screamed out in fear. Someone touched me, they were going to die, more were going to die because of me. I had to escape, yet I wasn't going to fight them, I couldn't hurt them more than I already was. The strong hands pulled me from the window and I fell onto whoever was behind me. I tried to wriggle free, but they had a good hold on me. I didn't kick, or flail my arms around against this person, I had lost all strength, even if I had any, I wouldn't have fought in fear of hurting them. They had to let me go.

"Let me go!" They came as a whisper through dry lips, but the words were there. "You'll die! You'll die! LET ME GO!" My voice rose as I wriggled against the grip on my arms, but they were stronger than me.

"It's going to be alright." I heard the someone whisper in my ear, a voice I recognized, but could not place. "It's going to be alright."

"NO!" The sound exploded from me. I wriggled and tried to free myself from the death grip. I heard footsteps behind me and saw men and women in white coats surround me and whoever held me in their grasp. I screamed and cried and tried to escape from the crowd of people around me. I didn't want to hurt them, but they wouldn't let me go, I couldn't do anything to protect them from myself.

"We have to calm her down!" One man in white yelled over my screams of terror. The one holding me put his hand over my mouth to quiet me, and without thinking, I sank my teeth into his skin. Horrified at what I had done, I stopped all movement and cried as I watched them inject something into me with a needle.

That was all I knew before black filled my vision.

Once again, warmth engulfed me, but this time, I woke to the warm sun of a new day. I tried to sit up, only to realize my wrists and ankles had been tied to the bed in which I now lay. I sighed as I looked around the room. It was the same white room as before, the machine's still buzzing, and another small tube attached to my arm, which this time I couldn't rip out. The walls and floor tiles were still white and the window was still locked, yet there was something out of place.

Across from me, asleep in a small, uncomfortable looking chair sat a man sleeping. An Asian man I recognized as soon as my eyes fell upon him. This was the man who had helped the child of Satan.

End of Chapter 2

Heh heh . . . sorry it's so short, but I thought this was a good place to end, and I'm lazy . . . what can I say? Please tell me what you think and what you think I should change! Thanks!


	3. chapter three

Allo, tis I, once again. Miss me? Well, hey, here's chapter three, trying to make updates regular, but it's not easy . . .

Oh, and let's see, I've got a lot of pairing guesses. I think I've heard Wufei/Hotaru, Wufei/Usagi, Heero/Usagi, and Heero/Hotaru. But which is it? Seems only I know, now the question is . . . will I tell you? You'll see ,

Disclaimer: If I owned anything as popular as Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing, I wouldn't be so poor!

**Crimson Fears **

**Chapter Three**

The Asian slumped in the chair, his head dangling from his shoulders in a peaceful slumber. His tan skinned was illuminated in the soft morning light and his chest rose to a slow and steady rhythm. Small wisps of hair fell from his ponytail and into his serene face, absent of any worries, fears, or troubles.

I didn't move for what seemed an eternity, not wanting to make as sound as to wake the sleeping beauty. I watched him in awe, knowing I shouldn't. A horrible creature such as me would taint such a being; yet, I couldn't pull my eyes away.

My heart might have been beating too loud, or my breathing too quick, but whatever the cause, the Asian fluttered his eyes open from his slumber. His black eyes met with my own, causing me to flinch and turn my head. No longer was there serenity in his face, his eyes showed me pain and sorrow. His eyes were so beautiful, and at the same time, painful to look at. Worn and tired, they bore into me, as if pleading, and I didn't know what to say. He had the eyes of an old man, yet this boy couldn't be out of his teens.

He stood up from the wooden chair he had been sitting on and looked down at me, waiting for me to say something with pity written in his features. I wanted him to turn away, not to look at me with those eyes and that expression of pity. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to run away, but I couldn't. Held back by material bonds and paralyzed with fear.

I don't know how long he stared down at me, but I couldn't look back. His eyes told his story of pain and I would only create more. I couldn't do that to this boy who had helped the Child of Satan. I needed to disappear, yet even in this world, it seemed, I could not escape, nor could I save anyone. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, unable to stop a lone tear from sliding my cheek.

I gasped and my eyes shot open as something warm intercepted the salty tear and I looked up at the one who had dared touch me. The Asian stared down at me, his thumb out in front of him and wet from my tear. I glanced up at him, confused and frightened. He needed to stay away from me, I would only bring agony and torment to a soul who looked kindly upon death itself.

He grunted, "Weak onna, don't cry."

I looked away, frightened, squinted my eyes shut and bit my lip. I could only hope that he would go away. I heard his voice echo throughout the white room, but I wasn't listening. I winced as it came again, this time with a force I couldn't ignore.

"What is your name?"

I never looked up at him, just shook my head. Waiting for him to leave me.

"You don't have a name?"

I didn't move.

"Answer me, damnit!" He grabbed my face with his large hand and forced me to stare into his black painful eyes. His hand felt warm against my skin, but I didn't think about that. I felt tears run down my face. His eyes widened in shock before he let go of my face and turned from me, crossing his arms.

Pain shot through me in knowing that I hurt him. I didn't know what to do, I was so helpless, a burden to others. A whisper escaped my lips. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks and I couldn't wipe them away. I was weak and worthless. I didn't deserve life, but I didn't deserve to die, it would be too easy. Why was this boy trying to make my purgatory less of a hell?

The boy stood still, baffled at my actions. With pleading eyes I looked at him, "I'm sorry. Please, let me go. Just let me leave." I lifted my wrists up to indicate the bonds that held me to the bed.

"You're sick," was his only response.

"No . . ."

He raised an eyebrow. "No? You're not sick? You have pneumonia!" His voice escaladed as he was talking to me. "What the hell were you doing out in the rain?"

"Don't worry about me! I don't deserve your care!" My voice cracked as I screamed at him, regretting as it as I did. My voice dropped. "Please, I don't want to hurt you, just let me go."

"Keh. You can't hurt me." He said with a smug look on his face.

"I've hurt so many, please, just let me go. I don't want to hurt you. Please, let me leave. . . .please." Tears rolled from my eyes as the silence that engulfed the room echoed in my ears.

He came closer to me, I hoped that he would untie my arms and legs to free me, but instead he brought his face close to mine, making me wince and try to backup, despite the bonds that held me down. He raised his hands to my face and wiped my tears away. "You're staying."

He backed up and headed toward the door, leaving me in shock that someone would be so kind to a child of hell. I didn't understand this boy, I didn't understand him at all. I try to save his life, yet he choice to stay with me, he must not understand me, either.

"I'll go get you some food."

He nearly left, but my voice echoed across the room before he did. "Hotaru. My name's Hotaru."

He didn't turn to me, but I heard him, "And I, Wufei."

I heard him mutter something about women being frustrating before closing the door to leave me alone in this comforting prison.

End

Okay, I know this was short, but I was getting really frustrating with the way this was turning out. I hate writing when people meet and all, I'm no good at that . . . I think I made Wufei a little more than OOC . . . But oh well, let's hope the next chapter is better, shall we?


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